“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare. It is because we do not dare that they are difficult.” --Seneca

This one takes me back to early sobriety and my first meeting at what would become my home group.  It was a much more intimate affair than the one I had gone to earlier that day—my first.  Here, I was one of four men.  One of them in particular was a man whose quality and quantity of sobriety awed me.  He epitomized the AA maxim of identifying someone who had what I wanted.  I listened to him speak with rapt attention and when he expressed his confidence in me, I developed a confidence in myself.

Newcomers in sobriety are a vulnerable lot.  They are, as the inherent nature of alcoholics who have not yet started to recover, confused and scared.  The journey to sobriety and recovery seems daunting for them and it is the compassion and encouragement of those who have already commenced that journey that inspires them to continue.  

In many instances, the newcomer to sobriety is facing a litany of challenges, above and beyond the throes of physical and psychological addiction.  These are sometimes health, financial, family, career, and legal issues.  Sometimes all of them.  To navigate them with a brain addled by abuse is asking a lot of them.

A frequent sentiment of the newcomer facing these multitude of challenges is to indicate he or she has no idea what to do to start repairing the damage.  The frequent refrain of the old-timers is to “do the next right thing.”

A newcomer who identifies someone with good sobriety whom they would like to emulate sees a titan of stability.  The newcomer sees grace through difficulty in this person.  A living example of how to live and to recover.  I know this is true because early in sobriety I looked at the sobriety veterans as superheroes.  Many of them dealt with challenges that would wilt non-alcoholics.  How did they do this?  I couldn’t get through a couple of days that were not exceptionally challenging and these people were handling life and death issues with aplomb and without resorting back to alcohol.  How?  

With the years of sobriety I have now I can better answer that question.  This is done by identifying one’s character defects and actively working to smash them to pieces.  The mean must become kind.  The liar must become honest.  It is a process that takes time to become the opposite of one’s alcoholic self.  It takes time, but the process must not stagnate.

Seneca’s words highlight the importance of people not allowing the size of the endeavor preclude beginning it.  That becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  If I identify sobriety as something worthwhile, but out of my reach, I have acquiesced to failure before even beginning and I will remain in my addicted state.  But, if I take my advice and inspiration from other recovering alcoholics, I have a chance.  The newcomer must not be intimidated by the size of the undertaking.  It is a lifelong process.  A sober life of joyous recovery is waiting for the newcomer with the gumption to pursue it.  Dear Reader I hope you will—and when you have come far enough in your journey to aid the next person, do it without reservation, for you will be heroic where you were once meek.