“Think of the life you have lived until now as over, and, as a dead man, see what’s left as a bonus and live it according to Nature.” --Marcus Aurelius

We know Marcus Aurelius was not discussing the bygone days of his life as lost to addiction, but we can.  We can think about our past in that same way.  Gone.  Over.  In the past.  That doesn’t mean we forget our lives in addiction, but it does mean that we live a new life in recovery that will feel very much like a second chance.  It will feel like being resurrected with the chance to right some wrongs and to live in a way that will undo some of the harm we have done to ourselves and others.

A huge part of my recovery from addiction was working the 12 steps of AA and none was more critical to my ability to move on with a renewed confidence in myself was the Step 9 process of making amends.  Making amends to others is a bit of a tightrope walk.  We don’t want to lean too far in one direction or the other.  We don’t want to dwell on our mistakes and beat ourselves up about it unnecessarily, but we don’t want to leave the harm we’ve done un-examined and un-addressed.

Once I completed the process of making amends to those I had harmed, I truly felt comfortable with myself in recovery.  I felt that I had done the best I could do to rectify the pain I had caused other people.  I knew that my continued sobriety from that point would require daily introspection with the view of not creating new resentments and not allowing my serenity to be sidetracked by others who might do me wrong.

Here, again, I think notions of Stoicism help us as recovering addicts to move forward with our lives.  Marcus Aurelius suggests that we can live each day going forward as a bonus.  What would any of us do if given a second chance at life?  Would we deepen enmity with those we don’t particularly like?  Would we hurt others?  Would we drink to oblivion and destroy what’s left of the time given us?  No rational person would choose any of those things.  They are not in accord with Nature, as Marcus Aurelius discussed.

So, what is in accord with Nature?  From the balance of the Meditations, I take this to mean balance.  Harmony.  Nothing taken to extremes or beyond its own usefulness.  So, what could be more balanced and in harmony with the world around us than to live our new lives on sobriety in happiness with a view to moving from our old shortcomings, resentments, and character defects?  What could be more in accord with Nature than to immediately address any wrongs we do?  

Continuing through the steps, we are called to spend some time daily in introspection and to promptly address any wrongs we have committed.  This is a Stoic practice.  Dear Reader, can you see why?  We do this because we need to live our lives in sobriety one day at a time.  Carrying around yesterday’s burdens is not a good way to achieve joyful sobriety.  We can get to that point by properly working the steps.  It allows us to see each day as an opportunity to refine our character, to do the next right thing and to help our fellows.  To do this is the fulfilment of the Steps and will allow miracles to take place in your life.  I hope you will.